BSRA #3: Kelso National Scooter Rally | Rallery

It’s hard to believe that 20 years have passed since the first large-scale scooter riders invasion of the Scottish border town of Kelso. But, it’s a fact they have. 

For two decades now, the Scottish Number Ones who organise the rally have proved to scooterists throughout the UK and Europe that you don’t have to head to a seaside resort to have a successful National Scooter Rally. Kelso is the longest-running inland scooter rally in the whole of the UK, it has earnt that tagline and wears it very well. The only break in continuity was due to the dreaded Covid pandemic.

As part of the anniversary celebrations, the organisers decided to reduce the cost of a weekend ticket for those attending on a scooter down to a measly £20 – which was money very well spent.

The repetitive nature of the National Rally calendar nowadays means, that by definition, rallies will be similar year after year. But, I always think that my annual trip to Kelso is like going back to visit an old friend who always looks after me and makes me feel welcome time after time.

Sunshine and laughter

Some of you may remember the Kelso rally nostalgic look back I did here on ScooterLab back in May 2020. The smiles on the faces of the people in the photos from previous visits quite simply sum up what this rally is all about.

My ride to this year’s rally was made far more entertaining in the company of Darlington Scooter Club; a large group of classic 50-odd-year-old Lambrettas being ridden by some of the scooter scenes real characters. A fairly short and local journey by their high mileage standards. All riders and machines performed perfectly in the bright warm sunshine, and we were soon having a pint together in Kelso’s main square to celebrate a faultless journey to the Southern edge of Scotland.

Beer and banter

The showground campsite was already buzzing with activity when I arrived to put my tent up. Many of the Scottish scooter clubs’ usual suspects were in full drinking mode sitting around on picnic tables shouting out the kind of comments and friendly obscenities that us scooterists from south of the border need subtitles to understand.

The layout of the camping area had changed slightly this year to accommodate a very large marquee erected in readiness for an upcoming concert by Scottish pop legends, The Proclaimers. Their biggest hit “500 Miles” was allegedly inspired by scooter riders travelling to rallies, or so I was reliably informed over the weekend.

Not welcome

As the rallygoers continued to flood onto the campsite throughout the afternoon, I witnessed yet more abuse aimed at the stewards manning the main entrance gate. Just like it was last year, it was from an extremely small minority who were attending the rally inside four wheels. The Scottish Number Ones positively encourage all scooter riders to attend and enjoy their events, but they also bend over backwards to accommodate within reason (and in limited numbers) for those who can’t or choose not to attend by scooter. But what they certainly don’t need is rudeness aimed at them when you arrive in your car, van or motorhome. On the flip side to that, the number of riders that showed a grateful appreciation to the reduction of this year’s wristband price must have been uplifting to the organisers.

Friday night’s live act were 7-piece indie band “Marquis Drive” reminding us all that the weekend had landed. They had the main hall absolutely bouncing and those people that stayed in the towns pubs and bars really did miss out on a quality performance. Rally favourite DJs carried on after in the main room and then the silent disco in the side room building finished off a great first day of the rally.

Saturday started with more of the same blue skies and warm weather beating down over the campsite. Traders stalls were out in good numbers, including plenty of second hand spare parts as is the norm at Kelso rallies.

Diversity

There was a diverse selection of scooters being ridden up to the main building to form the indoor custom show,   with cutdown and chopped Lambrettas very well represented. Full-blown customs stood alongside retro 60s-style scooters sporting period accessories and modern auto engine transplants in older classics. Bizarrely though, only two Vespas were entered in the full show. I don’t ever recall a National Rally custom show with such a bias of one make over the other (i.e. Lambretta over Vespa). One scooter that did generate an awful lot of interest was the green lowrider 4-stroke Honda Ruckus/Zoomer customised in a Loch Ness monster theme. It was the owner paying homage to a Lambretta chopper he built back in the day depicting the same theme.

Blue Angels

The custom show judges have a completely unenviable job of trying to pick winners when every single scooter in the show is worthy of a trophy. That task fell to Scott the BSRA Championship controller and a member of the Blue Angels Motorcycle Club. It once would have seemed unimaginable that a member of Europe’s oldest most fearsome outlaw biker gang would have come along and helped to judge a scooter show in his native Scotland.  Thanks go out to “Toto” for showing appreciation and mutual respect for fellow two-wheeled riders and their machines.

One of my particular favourite custom scooters “Auld Shuggie” a heavily modified 1950s Vespa 92L2  owned and built by local lad Dumf, wasn’t entered in this year’s show it was simply parked outside basking in the sun. But then he did take it to the previous weekend’s excellent Scooter Expo custom show in Alfreton, and it was picked to be the scooter used on the official Kelso 2023 rally patch.

The town’s market square was awash with scooters lined up outside the hotels and guest houses and scooterists staggering from pub to pub. The Kelso pub crawl is a very popular one. Make no mistake about that.

Those that stayed on the campsite were treated to the marvellous spectacle that I always describe as Scotland’s most fabulous multi-coloured motorised pub beer garden. Or to give it its actual name ‘The Border Union Agricultural Showground.’

On the main stage in the afternoon were “The Square Go’s” who played a great set, warming everyone for the night’s main act ‘Absolute Weller’, Glasgow’s finest tribute to the Modfather himself.

Lucky lady

The Saturday of the Kelso rally seems to pass by in a heartbeat every year, and before long it was the end of the night and into the silent disco room again. One female rallygoer, dancing away into the early hours, from the Wearside area was called out of the disco to be told she was the lucky wristband wearer. This year’s wristbands had serial numbers on them, and as a kind gesture, the rally organisers had picked a number completely at random and given out £200 cash to the winning numbered wristband, certainly a nice way to end your rally.

Hard act to follow

Sunday comes around far too rapidly for most and the mass exodus home starts, but not before the ‘goodbyes and see you soons’ are said. Another highly successful Kelso rally, and just like the last 6 or so rallies to this great venue, the question is asked “Is this the last one?”

I think it’s fair to say that the Scottish Number Ones committee are always positively seeking other options, but I personally think finding an alternative town with facilities and a venue to top Kelso would be a tall order indeed. And many happy Kelso rallygoers might ask why change something that’s not broken?

Nerd’s corner

Regular readers here on ScooterLab know that I often throw in a geeky, or nerdy fact relating to the write-up, so here are two:

• If you’ve attended and camped at every Kelso rally so far (I know quite a few of you have) you’ve spent the equivalent of nearly 6 weeks of your life in a tent at the BUA Showground
• Secondly, the number of Kelso National Rallies will soon match the combined number of all other different Scottish National venues put together since the 1980s official rallies calendar began

A massive obligatory thank you goes out to everyone involved in making the rally happen. The patience and courtesy you show over the weekend is above and beyond what most of us visiting riders could ever manage. It would be utterly naive to think there aren’t hours and hours of behind-the-scenes work that goes on before and after each event.

And a giant thumbs up of respect to every one of you that climbs aboard a scooter and then points its handlebars and twists the throttle in the direction of Kelso each year.

2024 Anybody..?

Words and photos: Col