How much time can SLUK save you? | FEATURE
Shameless reader generated plug
Totally unprompted by us (there’s an envelope stuffed with used fivers behind your wheelie bin Higgsy)! Speed Demon Tony Higgs gives a novel insight into how to save time in our busy scootering lives by utilising items from our very own SLUK shop.
We’ve thought long and hard over what goods we either stock, or have manufactured. Whether they’ll last, whether they’re fit for purpose and if they’re easy to use. Ease of use and doing the job they’re supposed to, usually means time for other things. So with no further ado, take it away Tony…
Proverbial blue arsed fly
Rush rush rush! Can’t stop! Life is too short! Early bird catches the worm! A bird in the hand is worth two up the Shepherds Bush! Eh? What? Everything is 100 mile-an-hour these days. If I call you on the mobile, it’s ‘why didn’t you pick up after 2 rings eh?’ I’ve just posted on Bookface 30 seconds ago and I’ve only got two likes, one angry face and a rainbow? Come on! Hurry up!
What is he going on about I hear you say? Well, we could all benefit with a little more time in our lives, unless you are being held at Her Majesty’s pleasure of course, then less would be preferable. Don’t worry though, because there are ways you can give yourself more time by using some of the items currently for sale in the SLUK shop.
Purveyors of fantastic products
Let us have a quick review of how much time you could possibly save by using some of these fabulous products.
Lambretta rear board fixing simplicity
Top of the list is the SLUK CLIP. What an ingenious and simple solution to an age-old Lambretta owner’s garage problem. No more will the M5 nut and washer drop from the tip of your swollen, scuffed knuckles for the 5th effin time! Potential time saved – 10 minutes.
Scooter luggage steadying device
The SLUK SUPPORT is next on the list for innovation and time “savingness” and is available for Lambretta Series 1/2, Series 3, Scomadi and Vespa GTS. Gone are the days of splinters from that old floorboard you’ve been using to extend your sprint rack. Hey presto, here is an item that swings both ways in the Italian shopping bike luggage securing world. Now you CAN take that large double porched tent to the IOW without fear of it dragging along the road behind you or being set on fire by slightly warm exhaust gasses (Iggy). Potential luggage-loading time saved – 9 minutes.
Well screened, improved aerodynamics
Improvements on aerodynamics are the key to saving you riding time and the SLUK SCREEN can help out here. Versions are available for Lambretta S2/3, SX, TV, Li, GP, Vespa GS/VBB/VNB/Sportique, Rally/Sprint and even the 80’s scooterboy’s favourite, the PX. Extensive range eh!? Rather than putting yourself through an expensive and drawn out-diet to reduce the weight your machine has to push through the air, why not fit a SLUK screen to assist in carving your way through the smog instead. Potential time saved (over a 6-hour ride to a rally) 2 mph x 6 hours = 10 minute fag break. Result!
Cleaning and washing your scooter is such a draaaaaaag especially with road grime stuck to your nice new GTS paintwork like the brown stuff onto the proverbial army blanket. Booooo! Wouldn’t it be great if there were some additions you could make so you could spend less time rubbing vigorously with the chamois? Hey presto! How about fitting a SLUK GUARD, and SLUK TAIL ? These handy little items will surely catch and divert copious amounts of road grime and keep it off your pretty paintwork. Damn you road grime! Potential time saved with your hand in a bucket – 12 ½ minutes.
Can you see the real me? F*ck off Mr Postman, you killed my scooter
Now I don’t know about you but I hate spending time in hospital. The SLUK Embroidered ‘Get to SLUK’ ultra-reflective jacket is a time saver in its own right. Wearing this beauty will surely get you noticed around town, mainly by motorists but hey, that’s not a bad thing baby. Potential time saved from not being knocked off your scooter – 6 weeks in a hospital bed.
The tidiest of threads
Retail un-therapy? How outdated is that? Dragging your carcass up the high street in your lunch hour to buy a T-shirt coz your old one won’t hold your 20 Rothmans in the sleeve anymore. Drone & drudge, urrrrrgh. Let’s keep with the time saving theme here and join the 21st century shopper by buying clothes online. The SLUK SHOP has apparel galore from gloves to riding jackets, waterproofs to baseball caps and enough t-shirts to keep Sticky fresh and clean for months on end! Potential foot leather saved – 1/16th off the crepe sole on your Brothel Creeper and up to 16 hours of your life wasted going round the shops.
Quality Khazi reading time
What am I going to do with all this time saved I hear you ask? Well, you could always educate yourself with the written word and spend that time reading. Paolo Zanon’s enthralling Piaggio book ‘The rider’s choice’ of ScooterNova magazine, or put your feet up and catch up on the exploits of some of our crew riding Frankenstein Scooters to Dracula’s Castle. If UK Lambretta history is your bag, Stuart Owen’s Lambretta Concessionaires – The Complete Story 1951 to 1971 will satisfy any budding antiquarian. Iggy’s book will fulfil your curiosity on Scooter Lifestyle and Sticky’s Complete Spanners Manual ‘Lambretta’ – Second Edition makes for a good levelling wedge on that wobbly kitchen table (can also be used in a workshop environment).
So there you have it. Time saving items for the 21st century scooterist riding 20th century scooters. What could possibly go wrong.
Cheers Tony… we’ll transfer the agreed amount to your off-shore account shortly mate.