Capstan & Bunsen Part 1 | EDITORIAL
We’ve had a few enquiries about the origins of our monkey and dog logo on SLUK. Well, it turns out Capstan and Bunsen have an interesting back-story…
Chapter 1 – Planning the Great Escape
“Vaping is for poodles” growled Capstan as he pushed the king a square to the left with his paw.
Capstan Full Strength – to give him his full name – was last in a long line of nicotine-addicted mutant dogs descended from Lucky, a beagle bitch subjected to testing by the tobacco industry in the 1970s.
Lucky was not expected to survive her enforced smoking, let alone have a litter of pups. Technicians in The Facility thought it worthwhile to continue her family line to check for possible birth defects, so her puppies were allowed to live.
What nobody anticipated was a breed of progressively more intelligent mongrels; each with a 60-a-day habit.
The new generations of cleverer, chain-smoking pooches were a worthwhile experiment for the white-coated experimenters, but one whose existence must remain a secret from the outside world. What use to humanity would brainier offspring be if they were addicted to smoking from day one?
Thus, Capstan existed in the high-security wing of The Facility, mixing with other animal freaks. He often spent days playing chess with Bunsen – a monkey deemed too special for vivisection.
‘Over the clinging stench of a full ash-try, they discussed life and the possibility of freedom.’
The pair willingly endured incarceration in The Facility for an easy life. What was the point of rocking the boat? It’s not like Capstan could afford £8 a pack on the outside anyway. The rising popularity of vaping was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Capstan wasn’t testing that shit for anyone. Hell, he had no taste-buds left. What was the point of making him try all those different flavours?
With conditions worsening by the day, Capstan and Bunsen examined escape possibilities. Maybe they could steal one of the scooter outfits used by the staff? Maybe they could make a go of life on the outside…
Bunsen was keen. A plan was hatching, in much the same way that mutant baby monkeys like Bunsen emerged from their eggshells.
“I am not a metaphor, I am a free monkey,” grinned the primate, with a goo of banana dripping from his lower lip. He gripped a bishop between outstretched toes and moved it diagonally.
It was time to leave the security of The Facility…